The Right Relationship Starts with You
Attracting and Creating a Beautiful Relationship
It is amazing how wedding ceremonies can all look
very similar to one another. There
is the gorgeous dress, beautiful
decorations and festive surroundings that mark a fantastically planned
wedding day celebration. However, once the marital festivities end, the differences
in marriage relationships can look completely different from one another.
This is because we all have different levels of maturity,
personal growth, and love within us which is evidenced in our interactions with
others. These varying degrees of growth will influence the health and criterion
we use for selecting a partner, and drastically impact the emotional availability we experience in our relationships. It is important to note, that choosing a
partner of good character means being a partner of good character as well. We
have all heard that like attracts like and this certainly applies to our choices in
Therefore. . . the more we know and love ourselves, the more likely we will choose an
emotionally-healthy partner too. Learning about ourselves is a process, and
making personal changes can be a challenge because we don’t know what we don’t know.
This means that we are not always aware that we
need to mature in a certain area until we experience pain which usually comes
from making mistakes. Not knowing what we don’t know can be equated with the growing-up process. As toddlers and teenagers, there is a
certain level of understanding we have which is limited, because of our age and
level of development. When we look back over our life, we can see how many
things we didn’t know but only learned through errors in judgment.
As we grow older, we realize in retrospect how much
we didn’t know at each stage of our development; even though we were quite
certain we did know all there was to know at each point along the way.
With maturity, we usually develop willingness and open mindedness, to learn the life tools
necessary to broaden our vantage point, and expand our consciousness beyond
what we already know. We start researching and asking questions in order to gain information when making decisions, and not just base everything on our own perceptions and ways of doing things. We eventually realize
that we can’t be an expert on everything, so we begin to admit this fact and
seek out those who know more in a particular area of life than we do.
We begin exploring our internal world by checking
in on our thoughts and feelings and see how they might be affecting our
external world. This introspection helps us to reassess our thoughts by
reframing the negative ones to more positive feelings and results.
When the careers, homes or friendships we want
don’t materialize as fast we think they should, we start to trust and believe that
if our desires don’t materialize the way we expect them to, then maybe what we
wanted isn’t in our best interests;
in spite of our strong assertion that they are.
We can take actions to create our desires but
sometimes, not getting what we want is a blessing too. Often, it means that there is a more suitable job, home or friendship down the road than the ones we believed were good for us.
The learning process continues throughout
adulthood. It is always important to remember that we are forever a student of
life, and that there will always be new insights, and levels of awareness that
will be revealed to us through the experiences of our life.
Making mistakes and experiencing the consequences
from our actions is useful in teaching us to see something in a different light,
and reveal a better way to do something. Painful challenges and feelings that
surface in our life, usually force us to search for an understanding of why
something is happening, and to reach out for help in coming to grips with it,
in order to excavate old habits.
Being aware and accepting that there will always
be things to learn means that our current
skill set can be improved, and better solutions to problems can be learned to make our life easier and share it with others too.
Knowledge is power, and all of our experiences have led us to all the wisdom we
The Right Relationship starts with us and that involves taking ownership for our choices, personal growth and self-care activities
while eliminating excuses for our actions or the lack thereof. Happiness begins
with us, and it is only through self-love that we can experience and serve the
world from a healthier emotional plane,
and attract healthier partners and life experiences as a result as well.
If a beautiful marriage or a partnership is what
we desire, then a beautiful relationship with ourselves is a great start.
Cathie Barash is a
relationship author and freelance writer. Her book, The
Right Relationship Starts with You, will guide you into creating
the ultimate connection with yourself
and others. You can contact Cathie at
firstname.lastname@example.org or visit her blog helpwithyourlife.wordpress.com