Deep Motivation Strategy for 2001
Conscious Communication The Ultimate “Inner Motivator”
By KRS Edstrom
“Learn a new language and get a new soul.”
— Czech proverb
Second in a series of “Resolution Keeper” articles to help you achieve and maintain your goals all year long. Track your progress and report your success stories to KRS. If your story is one of those chosen, you will receive a free copy of KRS Edstrom’s inspiring all-in-one guide to healthful living “Healthy, Wealthy & Wise.” If you missed the first article (how to define your motivation profile and set specific strategies), search for KRS on www.Awarenessmag.com
The primary cause of goal failure is poor inner communication. One part of you, a sub-self, gets impatient or disgruntled with the goal-making routine you have set for yourself. Instead of consulting your Higher self for a troubleshooting strategy, this impatient sub-self looks the other way and allows your precious goals to insidiously slip away. Whether, at this “look the other way” point, you are in denial or just feeling helpless, the solution is the same. Conscious inner communication can bring lucidity and success into your goal-making process and forever change your life experience.
The Key to Inner Communication ? Making the Subconscious Conscious One of the most effective techniques for learning conscious inner communication is self-dialoguing. Self-dialoguing is a simple but powerful technique that can help cut through patterns such as negative thought loops, locked paradigms, overwhelm and confusion.
The purpose of self-dialoguing is to become conscious of the “background talk” constantly going on in your head; to bring the subconscious into the conscious. Even if 100% of your background chatter was positive, it’s important that you know how to track this ongoing inner talk process. Unfortunately, our inner talk is not 100% positive. In fact, 80% of all inner talk is negative which is bad news if indeed, “you are what you think.” For example, if you are driving along subconsciously thinking, “I’ve had enough of this goal-making stuff and I need a treat,” your actions will soon follow those errant thoughts. The worst part is that you won’t even realize why you got off track and will label yourself once again a failure. Thought tracking teaches you to spot the inception of such inner sabotage while serving as cerebral “weight lifting” in sharpening your overall mental acuity. Thought tracking also helps clean out the talkative dust bunnies, leaving a more lucid, available “slate” (your mind) for relevant information. Perhaps most rewarding, less internal noise creates a more fertile environment in which your soul can flourish.
You can see how this inner communication thing gets fairly important. So how do you become aware of your inner talk and how can you take charge of it?
Inner Communication Exercise
Pause periodically throughout the day and ask yourself what you are thinking about. Catching a thought is a bit like catching a fly in the air. Try to just reach out and grab it. Then ask yourself if the thought is positive or negative. You might find it helpful and interesting to keep a diary of your rambling thoughts. You’ll be amazed and perhaps a bit disheartened by what you discover running around in your head using up precious space and energy. This “thought tracking check” is your first step in conscious inner communication. After all, you can’t change something of which you are unaware. If the thought you catch is positive, commend yourself. If the thought you catch is a negative or worried thought:
Invite your Higher self to gently and non-judgmentally enter the
conversation. Keep in mind that your Higher self is not a guilty echo
all the “shoulds” you have ever heard, a schoolteacher shaking his or
her finger at your distraught sub-self. Your Higher self is your true
nature, your pure essence, your core being. If possible, have this
dialogue with yourself out loud. For example, here’s a positive
resolution to the errant subconscious thought previously mentioned:
• Your Upset Sub-self: “Everything is going wrong today. I’ve also had enough of this goal making stuff. I need a treat.”
• Your Higher Self: “What’s going on? Do you want to tell me about it?” [Even though your Upset sub-self may, like an angry dog, seem unapproachable and unappeasable, remember that s/he desperately needs strokes and support.]
• Upself Sub-self: “I suppose. I overslept so I missed my morning meditation goal and had to grab a doughnut for breakfast instead of my oatmeal ? which has been helping me lose weight. Now I feel crabby, bloated and headachy from the sugar.”
• Higher Self: “You’re right. You’ve had a rough morning.” [Don’t ever deny a sub-self’s reality ? treat him or her with respect and s/he will hear you better.] “So do you want to try to resurrect what we can of this day along with your resolutions?” • Upset Sub-self: “Good Luck.”
• Higher Self: “Since it’s lunchtime, how about putting some healthful food in our stomach like that great vegetable soup down the block? That would compensate for the doughnut and also make you feel better. Then what do you think about doing a little meditation? It’ll be good practice to do it someplace new and to realize we can fit it in even on those days we miss it in the morning. Does that sound like a good plan?” [Your Higher Self is not issuing orders or judgments. S/he is always checking in with the sub-self assuring him or her that s/he is a vital part of the decision-making and, most importantly, is being heard. With this approach, your sub-self will most likely start responding more positively and engaging in the solution-making process.]
• Upset Sub-self: “You know, that’s just what I’m going to do. That soup really sounds calming and so does the meditation.”
• Higher Self: “Good decision. I promise you that by the time we get back you’ll have a whole new perspective. Let’s go!”
• Upset Sub-self: “I’m in.”
Self-dialoguing helps you remove the obstacles blocking your goals on both practical and emotional levels. It also educates you in regards to understanding your inner dynamics so that behavioral shifts can actually take place. You’ll find that you no longer react in the same way to similar situations time after time, year after year. For example, the “buttons” people used to push in you are inactivated or at least minimized. Negative shadow sub-selves are not suppressed, they are rehabilitated so that their accompanying negative thoughts and shadow beliefs are similarly altered. In response, your Higher self will begin to manifest more and more prominently.
Conscious communication is, in essence, a new language; a language than can help you reach your highest goals while awakening an all-present “new soul.”
“Embracing All Selves” Meditation
Get in a comfortable position and give yourself permission to relax. Exhale completely and then inhale slowly, stretching your lungs to the limit. Hold for 12 counts, then exhale slowly. As you exhale release all physical and emotional holding, like cutting the strings of a puppet. Just let your whole being go limp.
Enjoy that release as you relax into the natural, even rhythm of your breath. Feel the warmth of unconditional acceptance permeate every cell of every inner self. Take time to soak in these good feelings.
After the warmth has filled you completely, let it surround you ? top, bottom and both sides? like a protective halo. Perhaps you can imagine this warm radiance as nurturing arms surrounding you, cradling you. Luxuriate in the all-encompassing love of these protective arms. Recognize these arms as those of the Source. Let these arms merge with the arms of your own true nature. Pay special attention to the sense that you are embracing yourself, loving you. Be sure to include all selves in the embrace, with or without names, including upset, negative or shadow selves. Accept that every part of you is worthy of this attention, this special care. Open to receive it.
Resource this “all-self embrace” throughout your day if only for a few seconds here and there. If it feels natural, let this same unconditional acceptance extend to those around you. Recognize this as the ultimate conscious communication ? wordless and pure.
Derived from KRS Edstrom’s book “Healthy, Wealthy & Wise”. For more on her books, her advice column and audio samples of her popular Inner Mastery Series meditation audios, visit her website: www.AskKRS.com KRS Edstrom, M.S. is a lecturer, syndicated columnist and author. She is available for private sessions and classes on meditation, motivation, stress, pain, diet and weight and other personal growth issues. Please call (323) 851-8623 or e-mail AskKRS@aol.com
Return to the March/April Index page