Erase Guilt and Trust Yourself
By Lisa Cherney
The other day I got a cryptic voice mail message from a client that said, “Call
me, I have to talk to you, it’s about your article but I want to do it in
person.” Her voice sounded grave and it immediately started my imagination
going. What did I do wrong? Why is she mad at me? Am I in some kind of trouble? Geez! Where does this stuff come from? It’s amazing how the feeling of guilt
seizes any opportunity to pounce.
And in business, it seems like there is endless opportunity to entertain this emotion. Even when it’s our own business, we wait for the faceless boss (or the client) to punish us. Alan Cohen, bestselling author of The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, says guilt is like waiting to not be punished. When are we really ever punished except when we punish ourselves? When we let thoughts like, “What did I do wrong?” reek havoc in our minds. When we waste time fearing what someone will think.
It took me a while to get in touch with my client, so in the meantime I had to be with the feelings. My husband asked me, “What is the lesson?” (A question that I thought only I was allowed to ask.) I wanted to wait until I found out what she wanted before I answered, but he wouldn’t let me. See, I thought that if it was nothing, my lesson would be not to anticipate negative things. But the real lesson was that “I’m OK,” no matter what she says. Even if she said the police were on their way to my house to arrest me for gross misuse of commas in my article, I would live.
“I’m OK.” It’s a simple thing, but very profound. What if we got rid of guilt from our dictionary of feelings? What if it could no longer be accessed as an option? What would we do differently? What would we say “no” to? What meeting would we cancel? What commitment would we back out of? We couldn’t worry about being “unprofessional” or perceived as being flaky because those are thoughts based upon guilt. Maybe we would just follow our heart. Do only what we want or what we feel a pull toward. Not things we are feeling pushed to do out of obligation or because we feel we should.
Make It a “Hell Yes!”
This week I cancelled out of a commitment in Chicago leaving the person in charge to do some last minute changes to replace me. She had other folks waiting for the slot, but it was still hard for me to do. However, it was harder for me to have this commitment on my calendar and feel a deep sense of dread every time I thought about it. I realized it wasn’t a match for me. I had an inclination that it wasn’t a match from the beginning, but a friend went out of her way to get me the opportunity, so I went with it. (That pesky guilt feeling.)
Now, almost one year from the time I accepted the gig, I have a newfound clarity in my business. I only want to do what I really feel excited about. I only want to do what brings me closer to my passion and purpose. I only want to do things my spirit says “yes” to.
Alan Cohen also says, “If it’s not a ‘Hell yes!’ it’s a “Hell no.” Well, this opportunity was not a “Hell yes!” from the beginning. Now, sometimes we do things that feel a bit scary to push ourselves out of our comfort zone. This is a choice, and different from feeling dread. For me, I always want to feel more excitement then fear. That’s how I know it’s right.
What Would Be Different?
So, how would your business and life be different if you got rid of guilt and only did things that were a hell yes? What would you stop doing? What would you delegate? What clients would you refer to someone else? What would you delete from your to-do list? When I erased that commitment in Chicago from my calendar it was like erasing guilt and replacing it with a huge breath of fresh air throughout my body. It felt like someone had given me a prestigious award. I soon realized that “someone” was me and the reward was to trust in myself to make decisions that bring me the most joy.
The result has been a newfound energy for other things. Things that might not have gotten done because of the energy drain I was feeling from that one thing being out of alignment. I want that feeling of fresh air all the time. I have made a vow to myself to not do things out of obligation, only a sense of being pulled or called. With every item I erase from my calendar, I am affirming that I trust myself to create a life and business that feels good. What can you erase?
Lisa Cherney is a Business Intuitive, Marketing Consultant and President &
Founder of Conscious Marketing™. Her business coaching can help you confront the
feeling of guilt and give you tools to create a business you love and the income
you deserve. Visit
www.ConsciousMarketing.com or call (888) 771-0156.
© 2006 Lisa Cherney
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