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WILD ATTRACTION The Hidden Force that Makes or Breaks Relationship

By Paul and Patricia Richards


In their new book Wild Attraction: A Ruthlessly Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationship, Paul and Patricia Richards turn conventional wisdom on its head and explore a previously unacknowledged force that can make or break our relationships. They offer a stunning new relationship model that provides the “missing link” to finding and experiencing an extraordinary and transformative partnership - Energy. According to the Richards, “Western culture’s entire arsenal of relationship skills deals only with physical and psychological factors associated with sex and romance, failing to equip us with the knowledge we need the most which is this: Relationship is largely created or destroyed in the realm of Energy.” The following is excerpted Wild Attraction: A Ruthlessly Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationship (Chelsion Press/ November 2009). Wild Attraction is a survey of a previously uncharted, energetics-centered view of romantic love. Its core tenet is this: Even though humans have had eleven million years of male-female experimentation during which to refine the race’s skills, our most desperately cherished premises relating to sexuality and attraction are exactly the inverse of what works. From an energetically aware perspective, the relationship behaviors that society most encourages are those that least fulfill the incredible promise of gender. The world is, literally, head over heels. Great things await us if we can turn things right side up again.

Energetic Fact of Life #1
The energetic force of gender and attraction is all around us, and against it we humans have no defense. This is true despite our culture’s portrayal of sexuality as a force internal to us and under our control. Your best response to this knowledge: Do not take even the most committed love for granted and work diligently every day to safeguard your fidelity and that of your mate. Also, learn all you can about Wild Attraction. Somewhere out there, in the darkness just beyond the orange and red glow of a metaphorical campfire, lurks a real power of gender-based attraction that nobody can resist. Nobody. This force is an interweaving of twin streams of non-ordinary Energy that we experience as feminine and masculine. In not being consciously aware of this fact of life, you might also not realize that neither your fidelity, nor your wife’s or husband’s, is really in your power to guarantee, or in theirs. You won’t yet know that any man or woman can be compelled to sleep with, marry, live with, or perhaps lie to any person, against all individual interests. If you believe that superior character, morality, or religiosity allows any person to master these twin streams, you are able to think this way only because the most exotic of all animals, which for the purposes of this book I am calling Wild Attraction, has allowed you to think so. Sexuality and gender, while fulfilling various functions for the race, including reproduction, must be seen as constituting something entirely different from an internal biological process. Romantic attraction is an external entity that is offering to enhance individual prospects for the most profound growth of consciousness and attention that is given to you to ever possibly achieve. Sexuality and gender are all about awakening and then remaining awake. If you don’t acknowledge this force, and help it meet its nonnegotiable needs, you can be capsized in the silvery wake thrown off by its powerful, purposeful motion. In the worst case, you slowly drown in a gray sea of loneliness or dysfunctional relationships.
Although I am being straightforward about its dangers, this external agency of love is a positive thing. Those who come to respect the force of Wild Attraction inevitably find themselves taking the mechanics of gender much less for granted. They date more before choosing to have sex or settle down, and tend to screen potential lovers with a different eye. People who gain a Wild Attraction perspective work harder to be viable candidates for long-term love. These men and women learn about and practice the art of keeping a mate, and they stop believing any promise, contract, or habit will bind two people together for better or for worse. If you are not yet generating a field of attraction that draws others to you, and are languishing in what I think of as “chronic involuntary singleness,” the problem may not be that you are unattractive to others but rather that you have not yet learned how to attract and work with this powerful non-human romantically. When successfully relating to mates and potential mates, it is arguably wise to focus first on relating to this unacknowledged but huge external force - a process that requires fluency in a more intricate language of gender than most of us have been taught from birth. Becoming familiar with rules of Wild Attraction is invaluable, but no degree of familiarity will ever give any human being the upper hand. The reality of love - that it is a wild thing ultimately out of our control - is far more powerful than the illusion of love as something we can tame or master. Those who have seen the Wild Attraction animal close up know something of gender and love as they are about to be portrayed here. The poetry of Rumi, Shakespeare, and countless others springs from this particular well. Those who have felt the full force of Wild Attraction know that no one can offer guarantees - not about sexuality, love, attraction, or fidelity. They know of the existence of a call that, once it comes, must be obeyed. Not everyone hears this signal in its full and compelling fury - and society perpetuates the myth that our sexuality is a function of biologically-based internal drives alone. But deep down, almost everyone yearns to hear that call and fears it in the cells of the body. Those who want to face the prospect of this summons with intelligence and compassion - to own and celebrate their essential wildness but somehow make it work as it might actually have been designed to work - are my intended audience. The force I am portraying can throw you together with an incompatible mate while perpetuating the illusion of free choice. With equal ease, it can isolate you over the course of an entire lifetime. Although this animate force has hopes for you, it often seems to have no mercy. And as long as it is unacknowledged, it is no more reliable than Puck in Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream and no less manically zany than the Marx Brothers. Wild Attraction is in some respects an account of sighting a rare animal previously unknown to human science, not unlike the first reports of the discovery of gorillas in dense green rain forests a century ago. People scoffed at the idea of man-sized apes in a world that, even at that relatively quaint time, seemed to have been thoroughly explored. The assertion that a Wild Attraction creature exists is more revolutionary; nobody will be bringing back a body part to back up this claim, as someone eventually did to resolve the gorilla controversy. For most people back then, the existence of gorillas was a purely theoretical question, since few of these large herbivores were foraging in people’s bedrooms and backyards. But the question of Wild Attraction is of immediate and practical concern. This creature speaks and acts through us and has the power to inspire within us the obsessive and compulsive reactions that we experience as romantic love and attraction. In describing Wild Attraction in this way, I have no wish to marginalize the roles that our biology and psychology play but rather want to radically expand the sense of what sexuality is. The Wild Attraction model meets this need equally well whether adopted as a metaphor or accepted literally as the description of an actual sentience roaming somewhere in an expanded coexistent universe. I see it as the latter. Whichever way that you may choose to frame it, this thing I call Wild Attraction makes a fabulous, potent ally on a road leading to powerful intimacy with the mystery from which we all spring. If you learn to understand and collaborate with it, Wild Attraction will awaken you, carry you to places you cannot imagine in advance of your arrival. It will give you the means to safeguard your love and your mate to the degree allowed by fate, throughout your life. Wild Attraction can never be domesticated, but it wants to be harnessed. And, suggestively, it wants to harness you. You may be amazed at the rich and complex nature of this remarkable animal, and also find yourself a bit aghast at how little its nature is understood in our culture. People ignore Wild Attraction at their peril, as most of the human race rediscovers and immediately forgets, everyday. But this living amalgam of the male and female gender essences is probably our most powerful friend in the struggle to create ever greater, more capable human beings.

Paul and Patricia Richards are pioneers in the rapidly-developing field of Energetic Seeing. They are highly sought after consultants and trainers in energetic perception (Seeing) and its practical application in human health, personal empowerment, and relationship. After successful careers in aerospace and medicine they founded the Senté Center for Energetic Studies, a private, innovative training facility promoting the understanding of the human energy system and the role of “non-ordinary” Energy in everyday life. For more information please visit www.sentecenter.com